SkoopaTroopa's ISO: Storm-Chasing Puddle Jumping Companion

With so many warm rain storms happening, I am ISO a Storm-Chasing Puddle Jumping Companion.

Must be willing to jump in a car and meet in the eye of the storm at a moments notice. Must be open to hand holding and post deluge puddle jumping (this is a firm requirement). Must be open to the idea of exploring hedge mazes should we stumble upon one. This is a part-time position. All applications considered, gender non-specific.

Applicants can e-mail application question responses to profjessgleason@gmail.com

Questionnaire

1. What is appropriate storm chasing attire?
2. What is proper protocol if a funnel cloud is spotted?
3. What type of experience do you have with puddle jumping?
4. What is your recipe for pants pie?
5. What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
6. At what temperature is it appropriate to shower in the rain?
7. Do you keep Snickers bars on hand to feed to your friends?
8. Can you summon thunder? If so, how?
9. What are your thoughts on rain sticks?
10. Will you wear socks with your sandals while playing in the rain?