Let’s start out, first, with a
disclaimer. I cannot stand “Gone with The Wind”. There are many reasons for
that. Of course, I love the iconic Vivien Leigh, but some of the content doesn’t
sit right with me. Even with the understanding that it is representative of
both the period it’s portraying and the period it was filmed, I still despise
some of the insensitivity. I also abhor romance as a general rule, and I think
Scarlett O’Hara is, mostly, insufferable.
But, this post isn’t about my
deep hatred of “Gone with The Wind,” it’s about my failure to reconcile the
part of me that is female with the expectation of what’s considered feminine.
Realistically, I’m not. But, we’re operating on stereotypes here instead of
considering the spectrum itself.
This is something I’ve recently
thought about and/or discussed with people around me – and the only thing they
point out is that I wear make-up. This is true, absolutely. I do. But, I don’t
wear it to meet some sort of societal norm, I wear it because I’m creative,
because I find it aesthetically pleasing, and I don’t think creativity is a
feminine quality; it’s a human quality.
And, now you’re probably
wondering why I brought up “Gone with The Wind” in the first place. Good
question. The reason here is that I deeply identify with Rhett Butler, a
masculine character. I’m not sure if I’ve always identified with him, perhaps
it’s just that he and I are now the same age. Some tout him as this dreamboat,
romantic hero. He isn’t. Some view him as an inconsiderate scumbag who doesn’t
save the protagonist. He isn’t. He is, like me, human.
Scarlett O’ Hara is a willful and
spoiled child, which you can forgive her because she is truly a child. She is
beautiful and living in a hard world during uncertain times. She has drive and
business savvy. She has determination; she is singularly focused on her end
game. These qualities, in and of themselves, aren’t inherently bad. A strong
woman can make for a great role model; it’s the way she uses these qualities
that makes her truly infuriating. She is hard-headed and narcissistic. She
understands that her good looks can get her things, and she uses them to excite
young men so that they will fight over her. She chases after someone she finds
attractive, not because they’re compatible, but because she wants to win. She
doesn’t understand herself. She acts without considering why she’s acting. She
defines success and does all that she can to achieve it, but she never ponders
the thoughts and feelings of the people she’s stepping over. There is very
little that I can connect to there. I have drive. I have goals, but I am kind
and compassionate. I think about how my actions affect others; I consider people
when making choices.
Rhett is independent. He’s also
the victim of false rumors, but he moves beyond it. When he’s touted as a
ladies man, or a scoundrel, what’s really happening is that he’s testing the
waters. He learns that he isn’t into silly or foolish people, and he does so
without actually harming others. He is
blunt with others, which can be off-putting, but he’s always honest about his
intentions and he thinks things through before acting. He is noble and looks beyond
the surface; he sees people for who they truly are. He has the ability to love
and the patience to put up with someone who may not be perfect; someone who has
some growing up to do. He is always there in times of need. But, what I find
truly remarkable is that he has the strength to walk away when it’s time. He
doesn’t give in to pressure. He doesn’t play games. He makes the best choice he
can make with the information he’s given.
Really, I don’t know what the
take-away is right here. I do not identify with the female. I do identify with
the male. But, is it a matter of feminine vs. masculine or a matter of my
inherent good nature? Perhaps it has to do with my age? Or, is it that I can
relate to one of the characters a bit more?
And, if you’re still reading
this, you probably realize that maybe this is about something entirely
different than I said; that I’ve misled you.
No comments:
Post a Comment